i’m so sorry you feel that way. that must be terrible.
when i read this i feel compelled to tell you that you must be your own whole, fulfilled and complete person, not looking for another to complete you. YES submission fills a hole nothing else can but you cannot sit around in life letting yourself waste away if you have yet to find that healthy D/s relationship you have to LIVE. find the things you enjoy, and do them. find people you like spending time with, and be with them. buy the shoes, read the books, take the walks, go on the trips, laugh, cry - do it all.
being in a relationship with someone who knows themselves and cares for themselves is incredibly fulfilling and usually gives a better foundation for lasting than not. we as submissives cannot wait around for our Dom to make our lives fulfilling. life CAN be fulfilling outside of a D/s relationship - as we work on ourselves and finding that right man. (or woman)
this kind of thinking is the very thing that has submissives settling for less than suitable - if not abusive - Doms in their lives. i understand the sentiment and i’m so sorry you feel that way but i beg you - invest in yourself - take the reins of your life and LIVE it - don’t wait to find the joy in life till the right D/s relationship finds you.